Monday Musings is a weekly post where I write about whatever is
currently on my mind.
Disaster struck this week. I destroyed all but two of my nails. I can tell you how it all started but I cannot explain how it went so far.
Earlier this week, my nails began to break. I had missed my weekly manicure because I was sick and working eight hours a day. It's hard to paint your nails, even to apply nail strengthener, when you are completely exhausted. My nails are so weak that without polish, they just break.
When the first nail broke, I reacted well and used a nail file. I was proud. But then another nail broke. The edges were uneven. The nail was catching on things. I started to bite. Then the next nail broke, and I continued to bite. Then I started some preemptive biting. I'm pretty sure this nail is going to break soon; I better take care of that. And now my hands are in a bad place. Some of my nails, I could salvage. Others are destroyed, red, painful, damaged. I can't explain why I didn't stop myself. I was aware of what I was doing. I carry a nail file in my purse, everywhere I go. And even after those nails were completely destroyed, I still kept biting. I am not sure what happened. I was obsessed.
This is so hard. I am using this blog to keep myself accountable to my goal. I will beat this habit.
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