You should not have touched this book with your bare hands.
NO, don't put it down. It's too late.
They're watching you.
My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.
You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, aboutKorrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye.
The only defense is knowledge. You need to read John Dies at the End, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.
The important thing is this:
The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension.
John and I never had the chance to say no.
You still do.
Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity.
I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind:
None of this is was my fault."
What I Thought:
This book took me a long time to read. I knew the book was going to be weird -I had seen the movie- I just wasn't aware how weird it would end up being. At times, I just got tired of how weird it was; the weirdness was tiresome. Overall, I enjoyed the book, although I still had a hard time wading through it. I am still interested in reading the sequel, but I am taking a break with something lighter first.
"Society is doomed for one very simple reason: it takes dozens of men working months with millions of dollars in materials to build a building, but only one dumb-ass with a bomb to bring it down" (p. 293)
" 'But say they worked it like links in a chain, they touch the guy who pulled Bill Gates out of a car wreck thirty years ago. Make it so that guy was never born, so he could never save Gates. Gates dies as a child and tomorrow we wake up in a world where everybody is using Macs?'
I shivered." (p. 353)